trip to a coffee shop redesign-2024-12

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+---
+template=post
+title=Weeknotes 1
+style=/styles/post.css
+style=../../writing.css
+path-offset=2
+
+weeknote=1
+published=2025-01-10 16:30
+
+description=one dot hach tee em ell
+---
+
+Hey, wow, it's 2025!
+
+I am going into this year with a lack of credit card debt (my car did a no-power-steering)
+and a deep tired
+in my bones. I've worked every day since December 11th. Well. Every night,
+since I'm still on night shift. I quite literally asked for it so I cannot seek
+sorrow! And yet. The overtime is nice, however.
+
+The year and a new project of mine started together. I know I know, who needs
+more of those. But it's fun! I think so, at least.
+
+I call it <a href="/the-continuum/">The Continuum</a>! Every day I post a
+banner to my homepage and update
+a continually-taller image with a 256x1 strip of pixels where it's height has
+been collapsed, averaging the colours.
+
+Here's to hope I make it for at least a few months without missing a day. I think
+I can make it all year! But we'll see how <i>that</i> goes now won't we.
+
+Anyway, the archives are cool. You should go look at them ;3
+<a href="/the-continuum/banners/">banners/</a>
+
+My favourite from the week <i>(in full glory)</i>:
+<img src="/the-continuum/banners/2025-01-03/banner.gif"
+	alt="genny's and a large dog's eyes are inline with one another. their heads face roughly the same direction, but genny looks at the camera and moose, the dog, off to the right" />
+
+That's me and a coworker's dog named Moose. I love Moose. He is the biggest
+goddamn dog I've ever seen! Oh, I cannot get over how goddamn big that
+goddamn dog is. He's so large! He's like a small bear!!
+
+And that's kind of all I did! Not a lot.
+
+Well, I started to play a Minecraft modpack called <i>Enigmatica 2: Expert</i>.
+I've never played a modpack before, really, so I did some looking around and
+this one seems to be well regarded! It is challenging and fun!
+
+<i style="color: var(--text-dim)">(in which she writes a lot about e2:e because it has
+	consumed so, so much of her time)</i>
+
+It seems that the Modpacks of yore were a lot of "here are some mods that work
+well together", but now they are "here are a lot of mods that work well together,
+a little because we made them work well together, and also we have like 600 quests
+to help guide you through them!"
+
+Which is to say: There is a lot of questing? Which was surprising? Often a quest
+reward will be a "Loot Box" which is a slot machine that doesn't require payment.
+You get, as far as I can tell, a random item from the game. One of my very early
+rolls was an "Ultimate Furnace". It is a very powerful endgame utility-thing.
+
+The Ultimate Furnace smelts an item in 2 ticks. Two <i>goddamn</i> ticks!
+What is 2 ticks,,, 100 milliseconds?
+That's cool enough. I would understand if it also consumed fuel at a rate
+proportional to the smelting increase. Like an item smelts in two ticks but
+coal only lasts like, 20 ticks. That would make sense to me! But no! The fuel
+burns at the same rate it does in a normal furnace! So you <i>know</i> I filled
+that thing with sticks. It's so, so nice.
+
+I made an Industrial Craft 2 Electric Furnace <i>(a quest asked me to)</i> and
+didn't use it at all because I had this could-kill-god furnace sitting here
+that didn't consume all my EU power and smelted <i>so</i> fast.
+
+<hr />
+
+okay, that's enough. this was late by three days. i did not bleed the new week
+into it even though i very much desired so!
+
+goodbye. see you next week!
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+---
+template=post
+title=Weeknotes 2
+style=/styles/post.css
+style=../writing.css
+path-offset=2
+
+weeknote=2
+published=2025-01-10 16:30
+
+description=poorly isolated 2nd week &blues
+---
+
+happy 2nd week 2025.
+
+we're feeling low, so it's lowercase again. this is poorly-isolated, some of the
+third week has come into this one, but that's okay. i am tired and trying to
+figure out when things happens, with poor record keeping, is a lot of work.
+
+nothing much happened! i bought, and later received, a sony a7s ii as well as
+two lens for it. a 28-70mm and a 50mm which has become, or will be if usps ever
+delivers it, the fastest/brightest/widest lens i own. this cost a majority of
+the overtime money i accumulated through most of december. i've been having fun
+with it! and i will share photos later, and hopefully video! eagerly.
+
+i am trying to try more. what i mean is, i am very tired and i want so hard to
+do things. i wrote to my sister&mdash;who receives a lot of my brain-thoughts (for
+very-much worse, i'm sure)&mdash;the following:
+
+<blockquote>
+	2025 will be my year. I will drag it, and it me, kicking and screaming. I will
+	be tired and uncomfortable and frustrated, sometimes I'm sure, but I will <b>try</b>.
+</blockquote>
+
+This is something I have tried to embody many times! Over the last months especially.
+Change does not need to happen at some milestone: The start of a new year, a birthday,
+an almost-died. I'm not sure it can, really, given the slowness of it all.
+
+Hey, when did I start capitalizing? Weird.
+
+I will try to fight the fatigue and the unfocus and the something-lacking rarely-motivation,
+yes especially that one, and I will try to slowly become more real.
+
+And I will embrace the weird and the messy and the whatever-the-fuck-publishing-this is.
+<i>(publishing, of course, carrying the meaning of only "to my website, sort-of tucked away".
+	which still counts, but seems gently insignificant)</i>
+
+<hr />
+
+There is not much <i>Enigmatica 2: Expert</i> progress. I keep falling asleep
+before I start playing it. It does not help, also, that my desk has become unusable
+due to the half-rearranged nature of my living quarters.
+
+Last time, however, I was writing with care for the separation of weeks! So I
+did not include that I'd achieved having built an IC2 nuclear reactor, which
+very much solved the "my macerator keeps eating all my power" problem.
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+---
+template=post
+title=Weeknotes: Trip to A Coffee Shop
+style=/styles/post.css
+style=../../writing.css
+path-offset=2
+
+weeknote=6
+published=2025-02-11 20:35
+
+description=where i become a little more real. and drink some coffee.
+---
+<style>
+	.wkn {
+		color: var(--text-dim);
+	}
+</style>
+
+"i forgot my earbuds at home and i think i'm going to die. i pulled around the
+starbucks and nobody was inside except two people working. i can't go in now!</i>
+
+"i would leave, maybe go through the driveup, because there are not enough people
+inside and that's too much pressure to exist in, being one of only three people
+in a place and i don't know the other people. i can't Blend In.</i>
+
+"but some better version of myself, the Me that i want to be, would go in anyway
+and sit and be on her laptop. and i am trying to be that version of me, so i
+guess i have to go in."
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+<p class="wkn">Hello again. It's been a bit.</p>
+
+<p class="wkn">Since I last wrote to you I've done not-much. I wrote an lzw decompressor for
+	my gif crate. It's 2,000x slower than the weezl crate which is what I was using before and
+	am still using.
+
+<p class="wkn">I didn't really think I'd get great performance, but I just wanted to be able
+	to say I did it. It's also a bit broken, but that's okay. I can fix it later :)</p>
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+She stops the engine of her still-running car and flings the keys at her body in
+a "that's it, the engine is off" sort of movement. The door flings open. Her
+phone makes it into her pocket, just barely, and her body is flung from the vehicle
+without time for her to think about it.
+
+"I guess we're standing now", she exclaims entirely inward. The drivers door
+stays open as she retrieves her bag from the rear seats. Finally, as if sealing
+the doing-things deal, she uses the inside button to lock things and closes both doors.
+
+It's cold! You can tell because she's wrapped the cardigan further around
+herself.
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+<p class="wkn">I always intend to write here. It's something I want to do and a thing I think is
+	good for my mental health and a habit I want to keep (rather, develop?).</p>
+
+<p class="wkn">It's hard! It's not supposed to be easy, perhaps. My thing-doing cycle is,
+	out of sync with the weeks. It feels like every two to three weeks I get a few days
+	where I can work on anything. Otherwise I am fairly nothing-doing. What I do on most
+	days I could not tell you. I'm working on fixing this, I think; I'm trying to claw
+	days back that would otherwise be lost to whatever it is that is taking them.</p>
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+They asked her if she wanted a "for here mug" and it was gently confusing. That is
+not something she knew was real and actual. Paying, she sat down and opened a little
+notebook. It has writing taped to the cover with things like: "slowly! go slowly",
+"do a thing today!", "don't get paralyzed", "try!", etc.
+
+"Agenda", she writes on a page with a ripped-out corner. It should say "Dreams I Have
+For Today" or even "Aspirations of Doing", but the ripped-corner makes the available
+room rather minimal.
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+<p class="wkn">I am writing to you from a coffee shop in Octavia, Wisconsin. That is not a real
+	place, but I will use it as a thin facade over the place I actually live. Plus
+	"Octavia" is really quite pretty.</p>
+
+<p class="wkn">I came here with dreams of doing; with an agenda to get some things done. To start
+	the next era of my life where I try really, very hard to get more done and love
+	myself more. I am sure, certain in fact&mdash;which is a synonym of sure but we're moving
+	past that&mdash;that this feeling of confidence that I can Exist will fade off and die,
+	but I will fight to keep it alive.</p>
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+She sits at the table in the corner. The heat has just kicked on and it's giving pleasant,
+gentle warmth that is very much appreciated. She seems comfortable. It looks like she's
+making promises with herself, with some future and past versions thereof, and trying to
+keep her eyes dry. And smiling.
+
+In her notebook with phrases written on the cover such as <i>embrace the weird</i>, she writes:<br />
+"Note to selves: Forget your earbuds more often".
+
+<section id="signoff">
+	<pre>till next time,
+Mercy of Inann &<br/>Genevieve Raine</pre>
+</section>
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