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---
template=post
title=🌦️
category=writing
#Publish 2023-08-05 02:57 -0500
style=/styles/post.css
style=🌦.css
description=briefly, on names. maybe.
---
<!-- https://www.scottohara.me/blog/2022/09/12/details-summary.html -->
<h1 style="padding-left: 3rem; font-style: italic">on names, maybe</h1>
<p>
i really like names. the things people call themselves. these-these wonderous
groups of syllables traded; swapped; created out of thin air, some thoughts, and a whole lot of self.
</p>
<p>
shorten them, lengthen them, throw the whole collection of letters away and start anew.
co-opt a word! move through and around and relax within. change them if you please!
regularly if you like. maybe even swap back, forth, and back again.
</p>
<p>
here's a thing. posted originally
<a href="https://amble.quest/notice/ATaqGUcyaI6KOZjUJc" style="text-decoration: line-through;">here</a>
(dead link), but in a different form. i was playing a game once and saw them. we talked about their name, briefly,
for the five or so minutes we had.
</p>
<p style="text-align: center">
<i>click the coloured bits<br>to reveal more text</i>
</p>
<details class="root arrow" style="min-height: 10rem">
<summary>e.</summary>
<p style="display: block">i know i'm very strange; i get excited when people are nice and neat and cool and talk to
me when i play games such as these. your name is just very nice.</p>
<details class="more">
<summary></summary>
<p>we all know i have a softspot for short-and-abstract and english-word names. yours happens to tickle me.</p>
<details class="more">
<summary></summary>
<p>How short can a poem be? A sentence, a word, perhaps a letter? maybe it can be a carefully placed space,
floating there, meaning. we now know, though, that there's a two letter contender. it's <i>e.</i>, see.
</p>
<details class="more">
<summary></summary>
<p>could it be euler's number? possibly! estrogen? could be! maybe even nothing. a letter most common.
everything. “anything”, you said, “eye of the beholder”.</p>
<details class="more">
<summary></summary>
<p>i'm a lot, don't worry, i know. but your name, those two letters. they've taken me. <i>e.</i> you
asked me! “what does it mean to you”. well, for the time being, and likely a little more—until
this memory slips by lost to the hazy abyss of those forgotten—it means you.</p>
</details>
</details>
</details>
</details>
</details>
<p style="font-style: italic;">(and something more personal in the same presentation style)</p>
<details class="arrow" id="names-i-like" style="margin-top: 32px; margin-bottom: 32px">
<summary>most people know me by a name that the government does not. not the one that was given to me. </summary>
<p>they call me genny, short for Genevieve.</p>
<details class="more">
<summary></summary>
<p>
it was given to me, accidentally, by a now-good friend. genny first,
and then Genevieve. But it's not a given name. More offered and accepted.
I like it—that's why I use it!—but it's not perfect I don't
think. Not perfectly me I mean.
</p>
<details class="more">
<summary></summary>
<p>
I have a brain-disconnect. Between my body and my mind.
And I like a lot of names, some maybe even more than genny, but I don't think I can wear
them. Not openly and feel good about it. Names like
</p>
<details class="arrow">
<summary>Amelia</summary>
<details class="arrow">
<summary style="padding-left: 12.5%">Medley</summary>
<details class="arrow" style="padding-left: 12.5%">
<summary style="padding-left: 12.5%">Inann</summary>
<p>
Which sounds <i>beautiful</i> but I would be terrified to wear. What if someone saw me
wearing it? They'd say it's not mine. They'd know it's stolen. It can't possibly be mine.
How can a name such as that belong to someone that looks so
</p>
<details class="arrow">
<summary style="padding-left: 12.5%; font-style: italic;">unfitting</summary>
<details class="arrow">
<summary style="font-style: italic;">undeserving</summary>
<p style="display: block; margin-left: -13%; margin-top: 8px">
someone so <i>me</i>.
</p>
</details>
</details>
</details>
</details>
</details>
</details>
</details>
</details>
<h2>notes</h2>
<p id="notes" class="notes">
this page was originally 🌦.html, but the links were showing up url encoded in discord
and elsewhere and, for some reason, firefox mobile was just <i>not rendering</i>
the sun-storm rain cloud.
</p>
<p class="notes">
so now it's the double-underscore. which i think, "yeah, that might be better". if i go and
overanalyze it- <i>(well don't do do that)</i>. why not? anyway, if we analyze it maybe too
much we can say it's a metaphor for my lack of solid identity and desire to flip-flop
between names a lot. "fill in name here". <i>(that's dumb)</i>. hey, leave me alone, me. let
me have fun.
</p>
<p class="notes">
i never do explain the emoji do i? i just like it. i use it in name fields a lot. the current
canon is that rain is my middle name. it's so unassuming, the sun-rain. there are no expectations.
just, maybe, that they're a little weird. or something.
</p>
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