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+---
+template=post
+title=Weeknotes: Trip to A Coffee Shop
+style=/styles/post.css
+style=../../writing.css
+path-offset=2
+
+weeknote=6
+published=2025-02-11 20:35
+
+description=where i become a little more real. and drink some coffee.
+---
+<style>
+	.wkn {
+		color: var(--text-dim);
+	}
+</style>
+
+"i forgot my earbuds at home and i think i'm going to die. i pulled around the
+starbucks and nobody was inside except two people working. i can't go in now!</i>
+
+"i would leave, maybe go through the driveup, because there are not enough people
+inside and that's too much pressure to exist in, being one of only three people
+in a place and i don't know the other people. i can't Blend In.</i>
+
+"but some better version of myself, the Me that i want to be, would go in anyway
+and sit and be on her laptop. and i am trying to be that version of me, so i
+guess i have to go in."
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+<p class="wkn">Hello again. It's been a bit.</p>
+
+<p class="wkn">Since I last wrote to you I've done not-much. I wrote an lzw decompressor for
+	my gif crate. It's 2,000x slower than the weezl crate which is what I was using before and
+	am still using.
+
+<p class="wkn">I didn't really think I'd get great performance, but I just wanted to be able
+	to say I did it. It's also a bit broken, but that's okay. I can fix it later :)</p>
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+She stops the engine of her still-running car and flings the keys at her body in
+a "that's it, the engine is off" sort of movement. The door flings open. Her
+phone makes it into her pocket, just barely, and her body is flung from the vehicle
+without time for her to think about it.
+
+"I guess we're standing now", she exclaims entirely inward. The drivers door
+stays open as she retrieves her bag from the rear seats. Finally, as if sealing
+the doing-things deal, she uses the inside button to lock things and closes both doors.
+
+It's cold! You can tell because she's wrapped the cardigan further around
+herself.
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+<p class="wkn">I always intend to write here. It's something I want to do and a thing I think is
+	good for my mental health and a habit I want to keep (rather, develop?).</p>
+
+<p class="wkn">It's hard! It's not supposed to be easy, perhaps. My thing-doing cycle is,
+	out of sync with the weeks. It feels like every two to three weeks I get a few days
+	where I can work on anything. Otherwise I am fairly nothing-doing. What I do on most
+	days I could not tell you. I'm working on fixing this, I think; I'm trying to claw
+	days back that would otherwise be lost to whatever it is that is taking them.</p>
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+They asked her if she wanted a "for here mug" and it was gently confusing. That is
+not something she knew was real and actual. Paying, she sat down and opened a little
+notebook. It has writing taped to the cover with things like: "slowly! go slowly",
+"do a thing today!", "don't get paralyzed", "try!", etc.
+
+"Agenda", she writes on a page with a ripped-out corner. It should say "Dreams I Have
+For Today" or even "Aspirations of Doing", but the ripped-corner makes the available
+room rather minimal.
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+<p class="wkn">I am writing to you from a coffee shop in Octavia, Wisconsin. That is not a real
+	place, but I will use it as a thin facade over the place I actually live. Plus
+	"Octavia" is really quite pretty.</p>
+
+<p class="wkn">I came here with dreams of doing; with an agenda to get some things done. To start
+	the next era of my life where I try really, very hard to get more done and love
+	myself more. I am sure, certain in fact&mdash;which is a synonym of sure but we're moving
+	past that&mdash;that this feeling of confidence that I can Exist will fade off and die,
+	but I will fight to keep it alive.</p>
+
+<hr class="asterism" />
+
+She sits at the table in the corner. The heat has just kicked on and it's giving pleasant,
+gentle warmth that is very much appreciated. She seems comfortable. It looks like she's
+making promises with herself, with some future and past versions thereof, and trying to
+keep her eyes dry. And smiling.
+
+In her notebook with phrases written on the cover such as <i>embrace the weird</i>, she writes:<br />
+"Note to selves: Forget your earbuds more often".
+
+<section id="signoff">
+	<pre>till next time,
+Mercy of Inann &<br/>Genevieve Raine</pre>
+</section>
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