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diff --git a/served/words/weeknotes/2025/trip-to-a-coffee-shop.html b/served/words/weeknotes/2025/trip-to-a-coffee-shop.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d8a98c4 --- /dev/null +++ b/served/words/weeknotes/2025/trip-to-a-coffee-shop.html @@ -0,0 +1,102 @@ +--- +template=post +title=Weeknotes: Trip to A Coffee Shop +style=/styles/post.css +style=../../writing.css +path-offset=2 + +weeknote=6 +published=2025-02-11 20:35 + +description=where i become a little more real. and drink some coffee. +--- +<style> + .wkn { + color: var(--text-dim); + } +</style> + +"i forgot my earbuds at home and i think i'm going to die. i pulled around the +starbucks and nobody was inside except two people working. i can't go in now!</i> + +"i would leave, maybe go through the driveup, because there are not enough people +inside and that's too much pressure to exist in, being one of only three people +in a place and i don't know the other people. i can't Blend In.</i> + +"but some better version of myself, the Me that i want to be, would go in anyway +and sit and be on her laptop. and i am trying to be that version of me, so i +guess i have to go in." + +<hr class="asterism" /> + +<p class="wkn">Hello again. It's been a bit.</p> + +<p class="wkn">Since I last wrote to you I've done not-much. I wrote an lzw decompressor for + my gif crate. It's 2,000x slower than the weezl crate which is what I was using before and + am still using. + +<p class="wkn">I didn't really think I'd get great performance, but I just wanted to be able + to say I did it. It's also a bit broken, but that's okay. I can fix it later :)</p> + +<hr class="asterism" /> + +She stops the engine of her still-running car and flings the keys at her body in +a "that's it, the engine is off" sort of movement. The door flings open. Her +phone makes it into her pocket, just barely, and her body is flung from the vehicle +without time for her to think about it. + +"I guess we're standing now", she exclaims entirely inward. The drivers door +stays open as she retrieves her bag from the rear seats. Finally, as if sealing +the doing-things deal, she uses the inside button to lock things and closes both doors. + +It's cold! You can tell because she's wrapped the cardigan further around +herself. + +<hr class="asterism" /> + +<p class="wkn">I always intend to write here. It's something I want to do and a thing I think is + good for my mental health and a habit I want to keep (rather, develop?).</p> + +<p class="wkn">It's hard! It's not supposed to be easy, perhaps. My thing-doing cycle is, + out of sync with the weeks. It feels like every two to three weeks I get a few days + where I can work on anything. Otherwise I am fairly nothing-doing. What I do on most + days I could not tell you. I'm working on fixing this, I think; I'm trying to claw + days back that would otherwise be lost to whatever it is that is taking them.</p> + +<hr class="asterism" /> + +They asked her if she wanted a "for here mug" and it was gently confusing. That is +not something she knew was real and actual. Paying, she sat down and opened a little +notebook. It has writing taped to the cover with things like: "slowly! go slowly", +"do a thing today!", "don't get paralyzed", "try!", etc. + +"Agenda", she writes on a page with a ripped-out corner. It should say "Dreams I Have +For Today" or even "Aspirations of Doing", but the ripped-corner makes the available +room rather minimal. + +<hr class="asterism" /> + +<p class="wkn">I am writing to you from a coffee shop in Octavia, Wisconsin. That is not a real + place, but I will use it as a thin facade over the place I actually live. Plus + "Octavia" is really quite pretty.</p> + +<p class="wkn">I came here with dreams of doing; with an agenda to get some things done. To start + the next era of my life where I try really, very hard to get more done and love + myself more. I am sure, certain in fact—which is a synonym of sure but we're moving + past that—that this feeling of confidence that I can Exist will fade off and die, + but I will fight to keep it alive.</p> + +<hr class="asterism" /> + +She sits at the table in the corner. The heat has just kicked on and it's giving pleasant, +gentle warmth that is very much appreciated. She seems comfortable. It looks like she's +making promises with herself, with some future and past versions thereof, and trying to +keep her eyes dry. And smiling. + +In her notebook with phrases written on the cover such as <i>embrace the weird</i>, she writes:<br /> +"Note to selves: Forget your earbuds more often". + +<section id="signoff"> + <pre>till next time, +Mercy of Inann &<br/>Genevieve Raine</pre> +</section> \ No newline at end of file |